Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Like a sore thumb?

We stand out.  There is no getting around this fact.  We have fair skin, light hair, some of us have freckles.  We have four children.  We educate our children ourselves at home.We usually eat our meals at strange times (breakfast at 8am, lunch at 1pm, dinner at 6:30pm) instead of Indian timings: breakfast at 10am, lunch at 3pm, dinner at 9pm.  Our children go to bed around 8 and they (usually) sleep in their own beds instead of all of us piling into bed together around 10pm.  Our kids love to have ice in their drinks and prefer cold milk over hot milk on their occasional Corn Flakes.  When we go produce shopping, we try to buy all the food we’ll need for a few days or even a week instead of just what we’ll cook the next meal.  Weirdos are we. 

Fortunately our neighbors have mostly gotten used to our strangeness and we are loved and accepted.  This past weekend I was reminded of how it used to be in the adjustment years, before they were used to us, the constant explanations required.  When our oldest was a baby we lived in a village with a local family and they (and many other vocal friends) insisted her late walking (15 months) was due to wearing diapers…after all who could move in such cumbersome wear?  I served many cups of tea to well-meaning visitors who came to warn me she would never walk unless I removed her diapers.  Finally I was at the end of my rope and at the least mention of it I would tell them, “In our country, babies wear diapers and they all learn to walk.  My baby is fine and she will learn to walk.”

A couple of months ago my older two children led the neighborhood gang of kids (yes, MY children)  into mischief with an open pail of paint that some laborers left in the kids’ play space on the vacant level of our building.  After peeling bits of paint off their bodies and hair I told them that if they ever found leftover paint there again, to come and get me right away so I could put it somewhere else, out of temptation’s way.  A couple days ago Sara came home from playing with her friends and there was more paint on her.  She had neglected to come and get me and tell me about the paint and the consequence was she wouldn’t be able to play with her friends the next day.

Her friends overhead this and immediately wrote her an apology note and begged her to ask me to relent.  Nice try, but the consequence stands.  The next day her friends appeared before 8am asking for her and Caleb to play so he went and she, of course, had to stay.  Her friends wrote more notes asking for her to come and for me to relent, even setting up a movie date at their house.  The doorbell rang all day long.  After lunch her friends appeared with a neighbor lady who came armed with a bag of candy for all the kids, wanting to know about Sara’s lack of availability to play today.  So I explained for the millionth time that day about the consequence for actions, that, no, I wasn’t angry or mean, just teaching my child about obedience, and she would be ready to play the next day.  I found it exhausting to explain in my second language such a foreign concept as boundaries and consequences. 

The scrutiny that day was a good reminder that I no longer feel like we are living under a microscope most days, and I so enjoy the relatively normal status our neighborhood has conferred on us and our children.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Village trip


This is a village we visited a couple of times, a mile walk from where we stayed.


We found lots of neat rocks


When I joked about inquiring if we could rent this old house Mark thought I was serious.  No, I'm not that hardcore.


In this village there were at least three temples, one Buddhist, one Hindu, and this one dedicated to local gods.


Exquisite craftsmanship on a door leading to a temple courtyard


My littlest explorers forging ahead on the path. 

A Hindu idol


Buddhist temple

Road trip

These pictures were taken on our drive out and back from the villages we visited.  It's about a 9 hour drive from our house in town even though it's only about 180km (120mi).  Parts of the road are nauseatingly windy, other parts have very steep drop offs.  All of it is impressive with incredible views!


One of the few short sections with a guard rail...

Landslides and falling rocks often block the road.  We were fortunate to only be stopped by this twice, and for just a few minutes each time.  It can take hours to clear the road, depending on how much is blocked.

Somehow there is always space for two vehicles, even when it seems like just one will fit.

Gorgeous scenery!  When I feel scared looking at the road or all the way down, I just lift up my eyes to the hills and turn up my music!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Trip to the ER

THUNK…and no cry.  I thought that sounded like a child fallen but there isn’t a sound so I must be wrong.  Then Mark calls for me to come because it WAS a child, Elijah fell from the top bunk.  “Mercy, mercy, Jesus, have mercy on my baby.”  He is unconscious, slowly coming to, not breathing, then gasping, no crying, limp.  I undress him to see if there is visible injury while Mark calls a taxi to the hospital.  Elijah just lies there, motionless, grimacing, ashen.  Mark takes the kids to the neighbor’s house and we wait.  We wait.  He pulls out our battery powered pulse oximeter and Elijah’s oxygyen levels are a little low, better when I’m holding him then when he is lying flat on the bed.  No bones protrude, he moves fingers and toes, turns his head.  He whimpers but is mostly silent and dazed.  We Wait and pray.  I dress him.  We WAIT and keep praying.  Finally the taxi arrives and the jolly driver assures us that our boy is fine, that all kids fall and are fine, but he’ll take us if we really want to go to the hospital. 

We wind up and down the mountains.  I’m used to the slow pace of congested one lane roads, but this is the first time the reality of it being an unchangeable pace hits me.  There IS no faster way to get there.  Elijah vomits all over me and himself, then seems to sleep, lying in our stew of bile and dinner.  We open a precious packet of American baby wipes and I grab handfuls of the chunks of and throw them out the open windows, hopefully missing the pedestrians and motorcyclists around us.  The driver knows a shortcut, we hope this is a shortcut up a tiny dark lane.  We arrive at the hospital about an hour after he fell, jump out, and enter the waiting area of the Emergency Room, thankful we read Hindi so we know where to go.  Of course the dark cement cavern is full of the usual: blankets set out on which families are eating, sleeping, chatting while waiting to know the fate of a loved one, and interested in what brings us into their world.

For a moment I forget it’s 2011 and I am a mother of four.  My mind relives something that happened 12 years ago.  We were in Norpur and I was very sick with a croup-like illness that threatened to close my throat.  We rushed back about 10hr from Norpur to get to this very hospital, saw a young resident who wanted to give me some cough medicine, which I didn’t need.  After begging for a simple nebulizer treatment and being refused repeatedly and ignored we instead got a nearby hotel room and my brand new RN husband ran around town to get our own nebulizer and meds and lovingly and effectively treated me in the hotel.  Back into this current event, tears rush into my eyes and I blink them away, praying and hoping for better for my boy, heavy in my arms. 

We skip the preliminary empty windows and barge into the ER where there are maybe 30 gurneys with people on them crammed into a smallish room.  The Resuscitation Room door is closed with ominous sounds filtering out of it.  A nurse redirects us out to get our paper before being seen, so Mark goes for that while I hold our boy and wait.  We are quickly seen by a very professional and competent doctor who examines Elijah and orders a head CT, chest X-Ray, and abdominal ultrasound.  We have to pay for these tests before we can proceed, so Mark does that, and it costs about $9 for everything.  Heartbreaking to think of a family not being able to afford that and then being excluded from care.  Then, in the midst of all his busy-ness, the doctor takes time to walk us to Radiology and tells the radiologist to take good care of us, a very thoughtful touch that means a lot to us.  We sit in a row of chairs and I chuckle, noticing the cement wall behind each chair has a grimy outline of a head, wish I had a camera for this!  They see us quickly and after positioning Elijah they let me hold his hand and stand there…even during the X-ray.  No lead aprons here and the door to the hall is wide open.  The X-ray is normal, thank you, Lord.

They send someone with us to guide us into the bowels of the building (how is there a huge blood spatter on the inside of the light on the elevator ceiling?!) where we wait on a broken bench behind which there is a suspicious latrine smell that is even stronger than the stench of vomit all over me and Elijah.  Just in front of us they wheel a dead person sewn into a coarse blanket, a plastic bag of his personals next to him: boots, umbrella, half empty water bottle.  Other live patients also wait for the ultrasound, a lady writhing in pain on a gurney, tossing off her blanket (you must bring your own everything here).  We take off our shoes and enter a neat, small office to get the ultrasound, normal again, thank you, Lord.  Elijah asks when we can go home.

Now we go down several more flights of stairs and wait outside the CT room for the ultrasound doctor to finish doing ultrasounds and then come and put on his CT doctor hat.  Elijah snuggles into my lap, covered with a blanket because the open door lets in a lovely cool breeze, then falls sound asleep while we wait and pray, I feel nauseous from the adrenaline and the stench.  The ultrasound turned CT doctor comes, opens the office, and Elijah is sound asleep for careful positioning on the CT machine, a gift of grace to make this a bit more peaceful.  We do have to wait outside for this one, then we retrieve our still sleeping boy.  CT is normal too, thank you, Lord! 

We return to the ER where we are supposed to consult with the Surgery Resident.  While we wait for her to return from wherever she has gone there is much to watch.  A nurse tells an elderly man to take a seat on a single bed where there are already two people lying down.  Then she gives him a big injection right in his vein instead of running an IV; he doesn’t keel over as I half expect.  A young lady’s face is half burnt and she has other burn wounds.  The traction for her foot is a brick cleverly tied on with gauze, dangling off the end of her bed, and we wonder if they sent the family out to scrounge up a brick for traction or if it’s included in their medical fees.  It is crowded in here, the air is thick, and I can hardly even smell our throw-up.  I overhear someone I don’t think we know telling a patient a summary of our life story: where we live, that we have other kids, etc.  The Surgical Resident is pleased to see normal results and her only suggestion is to wake Elijah up and give him some dinner.  We are so relieved that he is unharmed.

We go out to the front gate and get a taxi to go home.  The driver turns up his local music as high as it will go and we just grin and bear it.  This is one of those rides like I haven’t had in a while when I wonder if we’ll stay on the road.  I figure if God spared Elijah’s life from a fall tonight, then probably his days to live aren’t up yet, which I’m hoping means we WILL stay on the road rather than fall off of it. About 30min walk (10 min drive) from our house I seriously contemplate begging Mark to make the car stop and let us walk the rest of the way.  Concern for our other children, fear of wild dogs, and it being close to midnight keep my lips sealed and we screech home safely.

Mark collects our sleeping children (all curled up with our sweet neighbors) while I give a quick call to my parents (Elijah wants to talk too) and then shower to scrub off the various bodily fluids from this event and grime from the hospital.  I am so grateful to wash chubby toes that are ticklish, attached to sturdy legs that support weight, and a sweet round belly that jiggles when he giggles.  My baby can stand, sit, make his usual silly jokes.  So many things I haven’t really seen in a while for the gifts that they are.  I hope that in the days to come I can carry with me just how priceless these small acts are and have eyes to see many more. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Caleb's Birthday!

Every birthday boy should have a GIANT perfumed Spiderman hat (the perfume was a big selling point) and a fireworks candle. Good thing we have a high ceiling. Balloon relay on our balcony
Pin the tail on the donkey

Breakfast in bed for our birthday boy!


We are so thankful for our oldest son, Caleb, born 7.5 years ago!









Thursday, June 16, 2011

Our favorite way to play

This post is from my children:


We like to play legos, board games, Barbie family, arts and crafts...but we REALLY LOVE to play on the vacant level of our building where there are lots of random building supplies like plywood, old nails, slabs of marble, and lots of dust and dirt. Nothing quite like using a piece of marble to hammer a nail into the concrete floor
Or hammering into wood....





Mom says stay away from this





We made a fun seesaw just outside our play house





This is the play house we made and filled with pretend money to use at our pretend building supply store.






Friday, June 10, 2011

Village trip


This week my husband and son had the opportunity to go to a remote village where we have a friend who has been eager for us to visit. To get there they took a 4hr taxi ride to a town, found a bus to a nearby village (about 45mins), then waited in that village for our friend's relative to come and pick them up in his car, then they drove about 45 mins, parked and walked for about an hour. The valley in which this village lies is very lush and green. Our friend said that no foreigners have been here for 15-20 years. Mark and Caleb had a great time, and our whole family is invited to go back sometime.


Rice fields surrounded the house



Caleb on the porch with stick ("sword") he found



This is the house in which they stayed




The remote valley